Nightmare

Do you know what it feels like to wake up and knowing it's not like what it used to be?
It's terribly sad...

We are the most vulnerable when we wake up from sleep... Our hearts are at its weakest state... I wake up questioning myself,
"What have I done..."
"Why did I do such things..."
The feeling of security, confidence, and joy that I had felt before is void from my heart...

That's why I don't go to sleep sometimes. I just can't bare the pain when I wake up. Waking up to your own tears is an ugly sight. Especially for a man.

I wake up to feel that the nightmare that I had last night, was better than the reality that I am in.

I can't take it anymore... I can't...
This sorrow is killing me...
 
Dear security,
Dear confidence,
Dear happiness,
Come back to me... I want to be better... Without you I can't... I couldn't...